Random Openings

So, as I write my talk, I have been trying to figure out how to start it. I'm probably going to just start right into it. I know that "mandatory jokes" annoy some people but I couldn't help but think of a few. So I've had many things go through my head and here are my two favorites that I'm still not going to use but I thought you might enjoy them.

#1

I’ve always been grateful of going to Church at the Stake Center. We have a great multi purpose room that we can use for activities, lots of rooms to split up how ever we needed, and it's been great. But now looking out at you, I realize: a bigger meeting house means a larger chapel. A larger chapel means you can pack more people in to listen to you give a talk that is 140% larger than any talk you’ve given before due to the fact that you were just promoted from “youth speaker” to regular “speaker,” which, by the way, does not come with a larger wage or more benefits, it’s just a better title and more hours. But regardless of this brothers and sisters I am excited to speak to you because that means I am that much closer to leaving on my mission.

#2

Well, right now my nervous system is making it very apparent that it is alive and kicking. In fact, I'm just grateful that I'm not frozen in fear. When frightened you're brainstem takes over and you have a "fight or flight" response. So right now I'm just fighting my brain to not punch the microphone or bolt out the door.

I know, they're kinda lame, but hey! What are ya going to do?